The Czar's Guide to the End of the World...and Sports.

   If the world begins to end tomorrow, there are some serious sporting events we have to get out of the way before it all comes to a close. Folks, this list is something only true sports masterminds/psychopaths would be able to think up.

1. The Jordan Comeback

   The logical sports fan would argue this immediately. "Chad, it's impossible. It's way past the trade deadline and you can't sign players during the playoffs!!!"

   Blah, Blah, Blah. The freaking world is ending. We are going to let Jordan play one more time. Think about the Heat/Bulls game being pushed back from a Sunday to Saturday night start, right before God shuts everything down. Tomorrow morning the Bulls would announce that Jordan's number "23" is un-retired and he is coming back for one more game. Chicago would go absolutely bezerk and no one would really care about the world ending, just the fact that the greatest basketball player of all time was suiting up one last time.

   Derrick Rose would not score very much, but I bet he would have like thirty assists. I am a huge Lebron fan, but if he saw Jordan in a Bulls jersey he would probably urinate all over himself.

   Also: Oklahoma City/Dallas would be on right after Bulls/Heat. The only difference is that OKC wears the jerseys below and the game is at KeyArena in Seattle. It's only right, folks.

2. One last week of NFL Football Games

Commish Goodell: "Play Ball." 

   The morning we all find out that the world ends will be pretty tough to swallow. We will want to be with our families while we wait for our ultimate doom. Barack Obama knows there is nothing he can do to help save this country, so he calls on NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to ask to end the lockout so that we can have one more day of football. A schedule is released and tickets are free. Every stadium would be packed for what we will be the last time we will see our favorite teams.

   Most would assume I would enjoy a Steelers/Browns butt-whooping at Heinz Field to finish off the existence of the greatest franchise in the history of football, but I have something else in mind:

   Lets go to Dallas. Meet us there, Green Bay Packers. If we could beat them before I die, everything would be okay. Just one more chance and I'll be satisfied.


3. The Final Iron Bowl

   This is just so that everybody that reads this could be happy. Your welcome. We will let Cam Newton play just for fun.







4. NCAA Basketball Tourney, In one day.

   All players from this year's 68-team field would rejoin in California, playing in arenas at the state's major cities (Anaheim, Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego). The final is in Dallas, the four teams that win their regions will all fly to there to play right after the Steelers beat the Packers, to play in the largest stadium in the U.S.
 
   Obviously rules would have to be changed due to time constraints:

   1. 7-minute continuous quarters (time does not stop unless a time-out is taken, clock runs on foul shots)
   2. 2 timeouts per team
   3. 3-pointers are now worth five (just because the world is ending)

Sickest tourney ever.

   The list could go on forever, so I'll enlist the aid of my few readers on this Friday night to post in the comments what their dream game/event would be right before the world ended. (Log into Disqus with Facebook or Twitter) As for me, I'll read your posts and watch Women's College Softball the night before the world ends. Nice Job, ESPN.